FYI: This is a short flashback of the last 4 years in college. What was I doing there, what did I learn etc. So read, only if you are interested to! Don’t blame me if you didn’t like it, I warned you already.
‘To like something, you need to start enjoying it’ – This was what I learned and implemented when I joined dentistry.
The day I joined college, I was excited and confused at the same time. Thoughts ran, asking what I was doing here? Was dentistry really for me? Will I be able to go through the next 4 years happily? Would I be able to settle in well, in this village? All this made me home-sick, the first day itself! But then, I had no choice left. I chose dentistry, and I was destined to do that although it was not totally of my interest and passion. My passion was always technology, still I suck at Mathematics.
Ok, the first year introduced us to the cadavers and the dissection of the bodies in every way one can imagine. I always used to wonder how I would be doing that (and I would probably puke when I see blood oozing out of a body, may that be dead or alive) but friends I made there, changed my mind. We missed being ragged as the college was new and ours was the first batch, so no seniors! Everything was total fun and we began playing with the body parts. Year 1 passed on well, but many of my friends flunked the exams and were to study the same academic year for the next 6 months. So we are not going to study together and go to the classes together for the next 3 years!
And by the end of the year, cold wars were on between few guys who seemed to have joined the college with an intention to look at the girls from top to bottom and fight for them (After 4 years I still wonder how they liked such not-so-appreciable looking faces.. but as we say, Love is Blind?)
We already learned what the role of religions was. Groups were being made in the name of religions, call it stupidity but we had quite few clashes where Hindus and muslims had some heated times.
There were many things apart from just education in the 2nd year. And after all, we became seniors (so called, without any respect.. but still Seniors!). Here I learned being good to juniors, at least that would gain some respect. We few friends, unlike others in the batch, didn’t ever demand the respect that we expected. It comes by self if you don’t ask. We began to gain sense in the field of religion, and guess what? We exchanged Iftaar parties during the Ramzan festival. One of the best times of the year!
The next year we were finally introduced to the clinics and the general hospitals. It was the start to the most important phase of learning, as we would be dealing with the patients, and not just the phantom heads which don’t shout on whatever painful we do on them! This is where a fear started developing in me. Blood is what I couldn’t see for long, it used to make me feel giddy. Thank god, I got company. A few friends of mine also had the same problem, but thanks to one of my lecturers, the fear slowly started fading away. He said “You need to live with that blood around you, for the entire life from now. Live or leave..” that hit me hard, positively. Friends were no longer friends, except a very few. Most of them became friends when they wanted to extract some help from us, and still thought we were dumb enough not to understand.
In the final year, I held the record of having the least attendance in the college in the clinical postings (not an achievement, but that at least made me noticed.. negatively!). One thought that ran around in my mind the whole year was “Will I pass out?” and “What would I do for 6 months if I didn’t clear the exams?”
My friends always used to say that I have stepped upon fox’s tail (explaining how lucky I was all the time) but well, I can’t argue with every idiot. If I was that lucky, would I have dropped into this village? wouldn’t I have got admission in a better university? I just work less, study less.. that was enough for people to comment on me. And those comments went strong when I passed out, although one of the department registers showed a 3% attendance record, which actually shouldn’t allow me to write exams at all.
And from the start of this year, I had started believing in the mantra “Why the fuck should I care?” and that attitude started building up in me. I just didn’t care about anything.. and that helped a lot in building up the confidence I needed to face any issues that might make me feel low any time (read exam results here).
Now that I have passed out, the weird feeling when I am called a Doctor, still exists. I still feel young and don’t like people calling me a doc. May be because I don’t want to leave this place so fast, and wanted to be the student I was since the past 4 years. Or may be because I got passed unexpectedly and feel that it would take time to feel good when being addressed with the name that has Dr. in the beginning. Whatever, I finally have started liking the place, the college, the people (not all of them though) and everything. But there is no much time left for me to enjoy. I have entered the professional work life and its got tougher.
I’ve not included many things, many instances that happened in the past 4 years, just to keep it short and I wanted to write the touchy and deeper things later when I feel like sharing. Till then, thanks for reading.